Anastasia Absolutely Does Not Gossip

Now, I want you to know that I absolutely do not gossip. But, you already knew that, so let’s move on. Being that I do not gossip, I find it difficult to tell this story in a wholesome way, so I’ll just do my best. Do you know that house down there on Lexington and Ila? The brownish one? Well, my cousin Myrna told me that the other night there were police surrounding the place at 2 in the morning. She was out driving around, as one does. Now, it’s none of my business, and I’m not going to say that there was anything improper going on there, but I will insinuate the living daylights out of it. I don’t know the people who live there, but I imagine they won’t be living there much longer.

On a similar note, but not quite as scandalous, have you noticed that Maxine has been dressing up awfully nice these days. I can’t figure if she’s come into some money or she’s finally found a love interest. Who that might be, though? I don’t know if Maxine has left the city limits of Elgin Texas in the last three years. But one never knows.

That’s not to say that I disagree with her outfits. She really has put some thought into it, and she’s probably consulted with Juanita over at the G&M Dry Goods store. (Honestly, I can’t imagine why they’d call it that. They don’t sell flour or sugar, but who am I to judge. At least they had a nice sign plastered over the doorway, all ready for them to call it that.)

At last month’s Sip, Shop & Stroll (They really need to make a decision on commas) I saw Maxine walking with a gaggle of friends, just laughing and looking the best I’ve ever seen her, and I’ve known her since grade school. There’s just something about these downtown occasions that brings out the best in girls. Get out the of house, out of the cooking and cleaning routine, and very possibly I saw her look sideways at Ralph, the plumber. He got married right out of high school and moved to Colorado. I noticed that he came back without a wife, so I don’t know what’s going on with that. Myrna hasn’t told me yet.

I like Maxine. She’s always been a very good and caring person and I hope that she does have a love interest, and more importantly a man who is interested in her. Unrequited love may be good for literature and those torch singers in Austin, but it doesn’t do the average female much good. And Maxine has done her fair share of waiting. In a small town the prospects are limited. And if I remember correctly she always did have a crush on Ralph in high school. Then he moved away and she became a notary public and did her best to move on with life. It must have been hard on her notarizing all those real estate contracts while she was living in that home her daddy left her, there with her little dogs. She always did have excellent taste in pets.

At one point during Sip, Shop & Stroll I saw her leaning in all excited like, talking to her girlfriend. I was too far away to see her left hand and she got away faster than I could saunter by. So, I’ll have to send Myrna around to Luigi’s on Thursday, when everybody in town knows Maxine has lunch with her best friends. They do have a nice wine selection, so I don’t blame her for that.

Well, it’s been good talking with you in this little column they give me. I hope you enjoy the rest of this day. I’m so glad it’s been raining and it’s not a hundred and seventeen degrees yet. There’s time enough for that nonsense in August.