Hello from Central Texas. How are you doing? As odd as it sounds, I’m happy to see 90° weather. It’s such a relief. Next thing you know it’ll be 85 and then 80 and it’s a downhill slope to mid-60’s all winter long. Not that I mind the heat too much. I like to sit on the front porch and talk with the neighbor across the street, when she happens to be sitting on her front porch. I think that matching rocking chairs really brings a neighborhood together.
Anyway, I just sit out there and don’t move much. I have my water and maybe something else, depending on how I feel. You can hear the cicadas humming and watch the birds and squirrels duke it out over the food they might find in the yard. I haven’t seen any cardinals this year, and I’m kind of okay with that. Those little buggers are mean.
This past week really tried my nerves. I almost had to faint to get people to pay attention. Don’t think I won’t do it. You can only push me so hard and then I pretend to crumble and you have to take a lot of time to pick me up and make sure I’m breathing. I’m telling you, it’s not worth it. Just listen to me the first time.
So, after all of that nonsense I needed to get out of my house and eat some comfort food. I called my cousin Myrna and told her what I was going through and she asked if I wanted to try Eva Mae’s Kitchen on Main St. I’ve seen Eva Mae’s before, and they have a picture of who I’m certain is their grandmother on their sign. Anybody who has a painting of their grandma on their sign is bound to have great food. When Myrna told me they have a bar as well, I was ready to walk out the door in five minutes. I’ve never decided on shoes so fast in my life.
I’d heard that they were only open on the weekends, but here we were, in the weekend. It was meant to be.
I met Myrna on Main Street, outside of the Chemn Café. I was tempted to go in and have a latte, but I had my heart set on comfort food, so I waited for her to drive up and park. It was a nice evening so we walked across the street to a lovely old yellow house with a huge patio and that sign in the front with Eva Mae’s face on it.
There was a nice crowd outside and as soon as we opened the door I could tell why. The smell that came through the door made my eyelids flutter, it smelled so good. I saw people on the patio sitting around tables and having delicious beverages and why haven’t I come here before? I even heard somebody say something about a musician playing later.
Inside it was pretty simple. There was space to the left for kids to play and the majority of the rest of the building was open—no indication that it used to be a house with room. People talking and eating. I saw corn bread, I saw black-eyed peas, green beans, fried chicken, beef tips. I almost fell on the floor.
Myrna decided she wanted to sit outside, but the nice gentleman said that there were no tables open just at the moment, so we could wait if we’d like. Myrna had her heart set on eating on the patio, so we sat outside in a little area set aside, and they brought us something to drink to keep us company while we waited.
Still, I could smell that they were frying chicken, and my body was reacting to it.
I understand Myrna’s wanting to be outside. Just being here made me feel better already. It was not a cool night by any means, but it was pleasant enough. I don’t mind a little warmth; it adds to the atmosphere. Like a beach, but without the sand.
And you know how much I love to watch people. I saw a couple at the far end of the patio. I couldn’t see his face, but I was sure that the man was one of the antagonists of my week, and I did not feel like chatting, so I tried to not be caught looking. But, what can I do? The woman he was sitting with was not the same woman I saw him with at the real estate office. I asked Myrna to cover for me because I just had to see what was going on. I did hope, though, that they didn’t sit us too close.
They weren’t terribly animated, kind of boring, actually. That didn’t surprise me, given his attitude when we met. He acted like he thought women shouldn’t be interested in buying real estate, and I acted like he could take his opinion and put it someplace special. But, that’s water under the bridge and I had a drink now so all was forgiven. Forgiving him doesn’t keep him from being a meathead, though. It just keeps me from being annoyed about it.
I asked Myrna what she thought. I mean, I don’t know who the woman was with him before. I didn’t know who this woman was here, for that matter. Myrna ran a hand through her hair and made to work stress out so that she could glance over there. She reported back that they were not related. I don’t know how she would know this, but I learned a long time ago not to question. Myrna is rarely wrong when she says she knows something.
The nice man from the restaurant finally came to take us to our table and I had to practically beg him to seat us at a different one. He said that the other one hadn’t been cleaned yet (which was fairly obvious, but I didn’t say so.) I truly am not one to demand more attention than I am due, but I simply could not sit at the table next to that man, and I wasn’t going to have him look over and see me sitting at a table while they cleared the dishes and wiped it down. I have standards. They’re here somewhere.
So, he humored me and we chatted in the middle of the patio while somebody scurried over to clear off my table. He is a very nice man, and so understanding. He confirmed that the restaurant was a family business and that Eva Mae was, indeed, their grandmother. I told him how sweet that was and we tried to make small talk. I didn’t know how much more I could take of smelling all this food. I thought I might reach over and grab a biscuit out of somebody’s hand.
Finally sitting down at our table, I was practically shaking from hunger. Yes, I needed another drink, but I needed something more substantial to go with it, or they were going to have fun carrying me home. Before I knew it there was a basket of corn bread on the table with pats of butter and I thought that all of my dreams had come true. I was very much living in the moment, and it was an excellent moment to be in.
Apparently their menu changes from one week to the next, so they handed us a sheet of paper each, showing the week’s offering. There are few things on this earth that I like more than fried chicken, but in case my friend over at the corner of the patio, who I had a perfect view of, happened to see me or come by, I didn’t want to be up to my elbows in juice and bones. I like pork chops every bit as much, so I asked for those instead, with mashed potatoes and green beans. (Do not make the mistake of requesting double mashed potatoes. It seems like a good idea and it feels like a good idea, but carbohydrate overload is real.)
Just knowing that my food was being prepared for me put me at ease. And there was a patio full of people, I don’t know why I was spending so much of my time on that one man, who I don’t even like to begin with. There was a small family a few tables over. The children were very well behaved. The boy was wiggling, like boys do. And the little girl was doing her best to sit still, but I could tell she wanted to stand up in her chair and look around. I feel you, little girl. Hang in there. She had the cutest dress on, too.
Almost as soon as our plates arrived and I was putting my napkin on my lap, out of the corner of my eye I saw the man stand up. I asked Myrna if she could see what was going on. She shrugged and said he was coming over to say hi. I mean really. I thought she was my friend.
I put on a big smile when he walked up. He told me it was nice to see me again and did I find any property that I liked. I had no intention of talking about my real estate purchases (actual or theoretical), but I smiled and said there were a few interesting things. At that last part I glanced over at his table where his friend was still sitting, pointedly not looking at us.
He smiled and said that she was his cousin from Dallas, and I thought I’d have to kick Myrna under the table to keep her from correcting him. (Myrna had had a beverage or two as well and you know how we can get.) I just said, “How nice”.
I think I’ve mentioned before that if you just say nothing, people will feel the need to fill up the empty space with words. Especially people with something to hide. For some reason he was making every excuse he could think of for her having come to visit and I could see Myrna just smile and cock her head to one side as she memorized everything he said, in case she needed to throw it back in his face.
And finally he mentioned that his fiancée might not be aware that his cousin was visiting and he was sure that people were all adult enough to not cause a scene. I’m more than adult enough, but watching him slink back to his table was about the best thing I’d seen that night.
As my knife made the first cut in my pork chop I thought that the only thing I like more than good comfort food that sticks to your ribs is watching a man squirm in his own lies. Why would I say anything to anybody? That would just end the fun.
That pork chop with mashed potatoes and gravy bordered on aphrodisiac.